It’s time to change

I haven’t been weighing in every single day.  It isn’t a conscious thing – I just don’t think about it some mornings.  The last time I checked, I was down 83 pounds.

Here’s the thing.  My mind hasn’t caught up to my body.  I don’t see myself as someone only 22 pounds from my ultimate goal weight.  I don’t see a girl that belongs in petite small tops, or size 2-4 pants.  I see the disaster I started out as, back in July of 2013.  I had just gotten off my PTSD medication due to an allergic reaction (and thank goodness since it contributed strongly to the gain, killed my short term memory, and really messed up my head), gotten out of a really bad situation, and was about the least healthy I’ve ever been.  It was sort of the end of one of the lowest time periods of my life.

But you know what?  I am almost an AFTER.  This is it.  Q4 is two weeks away.  I somehow believe that I’m going to hit my year long goal, on time (07/02/14).  All of my negative self talk, and pessimistic shit aside, I’m going to do it.  I know it.

So.  Why am I going on about this?  Because I need to change.  Change my thinking, change how I see myself (even now – I’m down over 80 pounds, that’s no small accomplishment), change my fail lack of self esteem.

I started by taking out all of the now too big clothes from my closet.  Earlier this month I treated myself to 3 pairs of jeans that fit, as well as a nice vegan peacoat.  I don’t need to hide behind my baggy clothes anymore.  In fact, I look pretty silly when I do.  That was my first step.

Next up is something I just did this week.  I deactivated my BodyMedia subscription.  The arm band came off.  Man, that felt weird!  I have nothing bad to say about the company.  I owe them a lot in my journey.  Sure, it could be argued that there was no reason to take it off – that it can just keep me on track.  And that would be true, except that this is about change.  I need to know this new version of myself without constantly monitoring every move I make.  I took it off for the last time, and pinned it to my cork wall.  It can always be reactivated if need be.  For now, it is where it needs to be.  And look, hasn’t been on in days and I’m still alive.  m_flortsmil

As one journey comes to an end here soon, another one is just beginning.  I look forward to seeing where it leads!

Sarah

Focus – March Plans

March 1st, 2014.  Again late to post.  Still working it every single day though.  Here are my goals for the month…

  • Lose 8 pounds (by April 2nd – the end of Q3)
  • Practice yoga daily
  • Log properly
  • Stop eating after 10pm.  Try to make it 8.
  • Aim for 7 hours of sleep.
  • Stay under 1k calories a day.
  • Improve my crow pose & other arm balances.
  • Walk more.
  • Do more Warrior poses for strength
  • Have at least 6 active days, and 5 very active days on everymove.org each week
  • Start dressing my size now that I’ve removed the too large clothes from my closet.  It’s a mental block!

#keepmoving !!

 

Sarah

 

February Wrap Up

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February went by in a flash.  I slacked on logging, but did put in the time.  Sleep continues to be an issue.  My hours are awful.

All in all though, it was a good month.  An excellent month actually.  m_gladsmil

  • Lose 10 pounds
  • Practice yoga daily
  • Meet my BodyMedia goals each day.
  • Stop eating after 10pm.  Try to make it 8.
  • Aim for 7 hours of sleep.
  • Stay under 1k calories a day.
  • Improve my crow pose & other arm balances.
  • Walk more.
  • Work on holding the splits longer.
  • Have at least 6 active days, and 5 very active days on everymove.org each week
  • Do something about my clothes.  I’ve under grown most!

#keepmoving !!

 

Sarah

 

NSV! Shrinking Clothes!

Clothes are not the fat girls best friend.  At least, they were never mine.  Things never fit right, I always looked frumpy, dumpy, and just a hot mess.

Enter today.  A day of clothing giddiness, which is pretty surreal.

Because I’ve lost over 80 pounds, you can imagine that my clothes have been a bit baggy.  To say the least.  Even the smaller things I own.  In a big winter sale, I picked up a new vegan peacoat, a goes with everything black cardigan, some lounge around the house pants and top, as well as 3 pairs of jeans.  I got each pair in a different size.

So here is where the awesome begins.  Everything I got, minus the largest pair of jeans, I expected to just hang up until I lost a little more.  I always try things on when I shop online, so I started with the smallest pair of jeans, wondering if I’d even be able to get them up.  You know what?  They FIT.

A little long, even though they are of petite length, but then, I am shorter than the normal petite gal apparently!  I’ll just admit this… when I began in July of 2013, I couldn’t pull up a size 18 jean.  Not even close.  They got about half way up my thighs.  The new jeans?  Size 4.  And I’m really proud of that 4.  I worked DAMN hard for it.  I can’t wait to take the larger sizes in for a refund.  :)

The coat is a petite small, and I think it’s so cute!  And I actually just typed ‘petite small’ as my size.

I can hardly believe these things fit me.  I have some pretty major body image issues, and most of the time see myself at my starting size – which makes it hard.  Pictures help though.  In these photos, I can see that I’m no longer the morbidly obese woman that started this journey a little over half a year ago.  This girl.  This very unhappy girl.

The last seven months have been so full of unexpected, and great things.  Life is good.

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Sarah's Signature

Focus – February Plans

February 1st, 2014.  I’m late to post, but I never slowed down!  Here are my goals for the month…

  • Lose 10 pounds
  • Practice yoga daily
  • Meet my BodyMedia goals each day.
  • Stop eating after 10pm.  Try to make it 8.
  • Aim for 7 hours of sleep.
  • Stay under 1k calories a day.
  • Improve my crow pose & other arm balances.
  • Walk more.
  • Work on holding the splits longer.
  • Have at least 6 active days, and 5 very active days on everymove.org each week
  • Do something about my clothes.  I’ve under grown most!

#keepmoving !!

 

Sarah

 

January Wrap Up

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Well this is a bit late!  Yikes.  Anyway, looking back on January, it wasn’t sooo bad.  I didn’t meet all my goals, but I came close to the ones I didn’t hit.  :)

  • Practice yoga daily
  • Lose 10 pounds
  • Meet my BodyMedia goals each day.
  • Stop eating after 10pm.  Try to make it 8.
  • Aim for 7 hours of sleep.
  • Stay under 1k calories a day.
  • Improve my crow pose
  • Work on backbends
  • Have at least 6 active days, and 5 very active days on everymove.org each week

Sarah Signature

Focus – January Plans

January 1st, 2014.  A new month, a new year, a new set of goals, a new focus.

  • Lose 10 pounds
  • Practice yoga daily
  • Meet my BodyMedia goals each day.
  • Stop eating after 10pm.  Try to make it 8.
  • Aim for 7 hours of sleep.
  • Stay under 1k calories a day.
  • Improve my crow pose
  • Work on backbends
  • Have at least 6 active days, and 5 very active days on everymove.org each week

As of today, January 1st, I’ve lost (will fill this in when I weigh in).  My weight loss is slowing down, but I’m still at it! I know it gets harder as I get closer to goal – and also due to gaining more muscle.  I want to pick up the pace from December.  I was without a yoga mat the whole month, and sort of distracted, although I never lost sight of what I was doing.  Anyway, onwards!

Happy New Year & #keepmoving!

Sarah

December Wrap Up

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Honestly, another month of not quite hitting my goals.  Or even close.  Life happens though, so it is what it is.  Looking back on where I went wrong in December…

  • Lose 15 pounds (I have until January 2nd, 2014 to be exact!)  I still have two days, but for December, I’ve only lost 8.5 pounds.   
  • Do the Full Body 30 Day Challenge.  SO didn’t do this.
  • Meet my BodyMedia goals each day.  Not even close.
  • Do the 31 Days of Burpees Challenge.  Didn’t do this.
  • Unless I’m ill, practice yoga daily.
  • Stop eating after 10pm.  Try to make it 8.
  • Aim for 7 hours of sleep.  It’s been a couple months now.  This is a problem!  I had a little improvement here.  Getting at least 5 hours a night now.
  • Stay under 1k calories a day.
  • Improve my half moon pose.
  • Keep working on the splits.
  • Catch up on my weight loss album – maybe do everything, add pics later?  I haven’t been able to replace my little Zink printer, so this project remains in limbo.

Sarah

Focus – December plans

December 1st, 2013.  A new month, a new set of goals, a new focus.

  • Lose 15 pounds (I have until January 2nd, 2014 to be exact!)
  • Do the Full Body 30 Day Challenge.
  • Meet my BodyMedia goals each day.
  • Do the 31 Days of Burpees Challenge.
  • Unless I’m ill, practice yoga daily.
  • Stop eating after 10pm.  Try to make it 8.
  • Aim for 7 hours of sleep.  It’s been a couple months now.  This is a problem!
  • Stay under 1k calories a day.
  • Improve my half moon pose.
  • Keep working on the splits.
  • Catch up on my weight loss album – maybe do everything, add pics later?

As of today, December 1st, I’ve lost 60 pounds.  Made a good first day of the month!  I’ve reduced the number of goals this month, vs last.  I still don’t know that I’ll hit them all, but I should have a better chance.  I think setting these goals is helpful, even when I miss, I can see what areas need work.  Top priority is sleep this month.  I just can’t keep going on like this.

Happy December & #keepmoving!

Sarah

November wrap-up

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Perhaps I aimed a bit too high for my November goals.  Didn’t do so well.  I guess in fairness it does matter that my son and I were quite sick for nearly half the month.

Looking at each item I didn’t hit -

  • Lose 10 pounds (or more).  Down 7.5.
  • Complete the 30 day pushup challenge, however I have to.  Stopped on the 18th due to illness.  Started back at it today, I’ll finish the month, even if it’s late.
  • Complete the Planksgiving: 30 Days of Thanks and Planks Challenge.
  • Meet my BodyMedia goals each day.  Yeah.  Not even close.
  • Unless I’m ill, run a minimum of 1 mile daily.  I did for the first half of the month, then came sick + moving the treadmill, and not getting it set up yet.
  • Unless I’m ill, practice yoga daily.
  • Stop eating after 10pm.  Try to make it 8.  A lot of nights I’d eat one thing after midnight.  A really bad thing to be doing.
  • Aim for 7 hours of sleep.  This 4-5 hour business is not good.  I think my poor weight loss showing is due in part to my severe lack of sleep.  I get between 4 and 5 hours a night and haven’t been able to fix it.
  • Continue my squats app.  Stopped on the 18th due to illness.  Haven’t started back.
  • Stay under 1k calories a day.  I was very close.  I went over something like 3, or 4 days.
  • Strive for a 2k daily calorie deficit.  I was not close!  It was more like 1k.
  • Improve my half moon pose.  I try and try, but so far have not improved.
  • Improve my warrior III pose.
  • See if I can get into wheel pose.
  • Catch up on my weight loss album.  My little Polaroid Pogo Printer died.  This pretty much stopped me cold.  I hope to replace it… I’m quite ready to start back up, as soon as I can.

Sarah