a look at the square life of the goods

Nathaniel turns 1

The first birthday of our baby. Bittersweet. We are so proud of him. We are so happy he’s here. Home. Stable. We are so sad we missed his first 3 months. We are so sad he couldn’t have a normal party. Or cake. That everything is a challenge for him.

But lets go back to the good. Nate is adorable. He’s sweet. He’s smart. He’s crushing milestones. He’s hilarious. He is more perfect than we ever could have imagined.

It was hard on his birthday. He doesn’t know any other way – but we knew what he was missing. As a parent you want to fix things, and we are so helpless. This isn’t ever going away.

We still tried. It wasn’t what we WANTED to do for him, but we gave it our best to give him a special day.

Anyway, I could keep talking, but I’m going to let the images tell this story.

Please click below to see the birthday pictures.
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What 12 months can do

Doesn’t even look like the same boy.
No one thought Nate would make it to a year.

It was an almost impossible year, but he made it.
He will never be better. We hope for stable. We hope he stays on the course he’s on right now. If anyone can do it, he can. He’s strong. He’s a fighter.

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Sure Nate

Your mama has made it 31 years without a heart attack, so yeah, now is clearly the time to try and make it happen.

We got him a push toy, with lots of fun things on the front. We did not anticipate that he would remove each and every possible toy, so he would have an empty surface to work with. It started innocently enough.

Little steps. Okay, I can deal with that. You can’t walk, but you are working on getting ready to. That’s cool.

But THIS? Say what!? I turned around, and if nothing else, you did cause my heart to skip a beat or few. Your legs aren’t long enough to step that high. Did you use those side slots?? Did you float up there? Did you use your arms somehow and just use sheer strength to pull?

He seems to be forgetting how behind he’s supposed to be, with being a preemie, and the whole 3 months in tupperware thing…

I would never tell HIM this, but I was wowed by his clever skills that I can’t figure out. It was impressive. I’m traumatized, but still, he is such a little He-Man!

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Digital Project Life – Week 19

Not loving my pages this week, but I guess that’s okay. I got it done, and the memories are recorded.

Linking up with

No one!

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More

Chase’s birthday. The anniversary of our closing the distance. It’s a shame he had to work his birthday. He has tomorrow (today I guess) off though, so he can play with his new toys.

Happy Birthday Rane. Next year, we will do something more epic. At least this year, for the first time ever, you were able to tell me some items you wished for. Thank you! Do it again. Every holiday. K?

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5/15 – First Annual Hyperemesis Awareness Day

Please take 5 minutes of your day and learn a bit about HG.

I can’t make the post I had wanted to. It’s still too raw, and too painful. HG has taken so much away from me, and it keeps taking. It changed who I am. It has too much power.

<---- This photo is of exactly one year ago today. Today - Chase's birthday. The anniversary of our closing the distance. Two days before my premature baby was born.

Maybe one of these days I can make the post I had planned on. I hope so.

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My first Mother’s Day

Last Mother’s Day, I was so sick. And so tired of being so sick. Most of it was pretty awful. I moped lol. The day did come with a special moment though, Chase got to see the baby move in my belly from the outside. It took 8 months for that to happen. Nate just didn’t move much, and getting Chase to catch it was so hard! Those few kicks I got, and the nightly hiccups Nate had, were the best part of my pregnancy, for sure.

This year though, Mother’s Day was wonderful. :) I had my sweet baby boy with me. We didn’t go anywhere farther than the front yard, or do any special activities (except pictures), but just being with him, and realizing how much I love being a mom, HIS mom, it couldn’t have been better.

I was so miserable during my pregnancy, I really didn’t know how this whole mothering thing would go. On top of regular parenting, I sure didn’t predict what was ahead, months of the NICU with a rare life long, life threatening disease? Totally not on my radar!

Nathaniel has made me worry, made me cry, made me mad, scared me more than I thought I could be scared, but more than anything, he has made me happy. So happy, so proud, so different. Good different.
His unique set of challenges, and “Nate Things” only make me wonder how I got so lucky to have THIS limited edition boy. I’m pretty sure I’m the luckiest mama that has ever been. I definitely feel like I am.

I can’t publish this post without mentioning how spoiled I was. Goodness. Nate & my sweet girl Zoe outdid themselves. Daddy & Grammie may have helped a little too. I was given an orchid corsage, cards, a crystal impression kit, which I can make a statuette of Nate’s tiny fist with, AND a smash book. To top that off, I got a couple cards in the mail, and even a couple gifts. (Thank you all for thinking of me!!) I got a few sweet messages on FB too, which I really appreciate. I would have been happy to have nothing more than the day with my baby, but I so love the thoughtful surprises too. ^_^

At about 7:30pm last night (give or take), I woke Chase up, and asked him to come outside and take some pictures before the sun was gone. It was an overcast day, which made for some really nice light.

Please click below to see many of the shots we got yesterday. :)
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Mama

It’s hard to believe I get to celebrate my first mothers day as a mom tomorrow. I can’t wait.

‘Mama’

Mama Pillow - three3peas Handstamped Necklace, Copper "MAMA" Square with Camel Natural Stone Bead Charm, Great Mother's Day, Bday, New Mother Gift - HandstampedOriginals Baby-Carrying Mama - Made to Order - Bellyrinas Mama Pendant Necklace - SuchPrettyColors
Hand Stamped Jewelry My Greatest Blessings call me Mama Necklace - PureHeartCreations Custom Nursery Art: "No one will ever know the strength of my love" PDF Printable - LittleMamasPretties Blessed Mama Rhinestone Pendant Necklace - kolejaxdesigns Custom Babywearing Figure, Wooden Babywearing Mama, Wooden Mother and Baby - LittleWoodlanders
Owl Baby - Original Watercolor Painting - Pseudooctopus Come to Mama. Text Cross Stitch PDF Pattern - andwabisabi Hand stamped sterling silver birdie bracelet - underhercharm Lucky Mama- w/ flower, brass and silver - TinaQdesigns
may card of the month (pink) - boybandsentiments Nursery Room Wall Art - Mama Elephant and Baby, 8x10 Print - BrickHouseStudio Mothers Day DIGITAL PRINT Gift in an hour last minute gift ideas Mother in Any Language 8x10 Art - ogloriousday Silver Mama Heart Charm - jennifertullwestberg

Treasury tool by StylishHome.

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Nate giggling – a video

[tentblogger-vimeo 42022478] It is NOT easy to catch Nate laughing long enough to get video going! This was taken just a few days ago, so he's 11 months old in it. … [Continue reading]

Nate push-walking. A video!

He can rock the push-walk on basically any floor surface in the house. He just learned this last night. We went to the hardwood floors, and he got it, first try. He's kind of awesome like that. He was a little hesitant, but he made it! Day two? … [Continue reading]